Things I Ate: the Student Festival Edition

So Tuesday through Thursday of this week were devoted to the Student Festival on campus. For three afternoons we collectively shirked our responsibilities and decided instead to play outside, eat questionably prepared foods, watch concerts (Guess who has a new favorite Korean rock band!), and contribute to the common mood of frivolity and merriment that so saturated the atmosphere that it seeped into the very sidewalk squiggly bricks upon which our dancing feet so joyfully trod and the earth fairly hummed with our vitality.

Of course it rained this morning so it’s all gone now, but it was nice yesterday.

I went to concerts, did a little head-banging, did a little dancing. I watched contests and was suitably impressed and/or amused by all the acts. I laughed at our MC’s jokes, not because I knew what he said, but because I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was most likely hilarious. I watched my students get pummeled by water balloons and was constantly surrounded by other students determined to sell me their wares. Like sharks that feel a drop of blood in the water or Monterey Jack the mouse smelling cheese from three blocks away, they seemed to have some otherworldly ability to sense the presence of won burning a hole in my pocket.

But, despite all the fun I had and things I did, I think my festival experience really is most vividly and accurately summed up by the pile of food sticks, crumbs, and drips of sauce that I left in my wake over the course of those three afternoons. So with great pride and a little bit of a stomachache, I give you Things I Ate: the Student Festival Edition.

1. Spicy chicken on a stick. Because they asked me so enthusiastically to buy it. Also it was the first thing I saw.

2. Spicy sausage on a stick. Because it was across from the spicy chicken on a stick. On the down side, it dripped a lot. On the up side, I did not get any drippiness on my clothes. Final analysis: a successful eating venture.

3. Spicy chicken on a stick. Because I was still hungry and it was still close.

4. Waffle with three scoops of ice cream – vanilla, strawberry, and green. Because it seemed like a good idea. I was right. It was. Even the green part.

5. Popcorn. Because I thought a change of pace might be nice. When will I learn that I always regret popcorn? Stupid kernels.

6. Thing in a cup with a toothpick to facilitate consumption. Because I wanted a toothpick. Stupid popcorn.

7. Slushie thing – plum flavored. Because it was cheap and pretty, like a prom dress or a hooker.

8. Slushie thing – plum flavored. Because one is never enough, like a prom dress or a hooker.

9. Candy in the shape of a heart. Because those Marines earned my business and did so with gusto.

10. Peach iced tea. Because it was clearly a better idea than normal iced tea.

11. Thing on a stick involving some manner of meat and spiciness and something a little squishy that was probably rice-based. Because I’m adventurous and can make up my own names for things. I call it Meat-Squish on a Stick and I liked it.

12. Thing on a stick with cheese in the middle, sugar on the outside, other unnamable things in the middle, and slathered in ketchup. Because, let’s face it, at this point I think we’ve all realized that I’m a pushover when it comes to food on sticks, even something as questionable-sounding as that. I ate it all without regret.

13. Waffle with three scoops of ice cream – vanilla, green, vanilla. Because I wasn’t able to figure out that green ice cream the first time and some experiments deserve to be repeated. I was just being a responsible scientist.

14. Spicy chicken on a stick. Because sometimes you need to check to make sure they’re still doing it right. It's a simple matter of quality control. The quality having been adequately controlled, I moved on.

15. Red bean slushie. Because beans do not belong in slushies and I needed proof.

16. Strawberry smoothie. Because eating healthy food is very important to me.

17. Slushie thing – can’t get away from plum. Because it comes with such a cute little spoon, like a prom dress or a hooker.

18. Waffle with three scoops of ice cream – vanilla, vanilla, vanilla. Because I’ll never become a true connoisseur if I don’t try them all. I was just being conscientious.

There were other things I tasted and stole from those around me and still other things that I never quite managed to try, but there’s always next year and, like the practiced festival-goer that I am, I am already formulating my plan for the next Student Festival. Preparation is the key to success. And I was, after all, trained on the Circleville Pumpkin Show. I have festival-going skills the likes of which most of the rest of the world has never even imagined. This was my warm-up year.

So brace yourselves. Troubadours will sing songs about the next one.